One Guy’s View: Everything I Know About Women That I Learned From My Cat

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As a man, a cat owner and serial dater, there are quite a similarities I’ve discovered between cats and women. My cat has helped me to understand women better – not that I always appreciate it.

 

  • They are picky eaters.

Cats – like A LOT of women – are picky eaters. You’ll put a bowl of delicious mixed grill in front of them and they will take two bites. Then they are “full.” But when you order a bacon cheeseburger with greasy fries, those same frisky felines are stealing bites from your plate.

 

  • They are always grooming. Good Lord, they are ALWAYS grooming.

The touching up of the lips, the powdering of the nose, the combing of the hair. Both cats and women spend an interminable amount of time trying to make themselves look fabulous – for a night in binge-watching “House of Cards.”

 

  • They have fussy bathroom habits.

Some women can’t pee in public or will not use a restroom in a crowded place. I once dated a woman who could only go in her own home. Cats are like this too – if that litter box isn’t pristine, they will pee in your shoe or spread litter all over the damn place.

 

  • They can be hot and cold with the affection.

Was this a conversation with the cat or with the girlfriend?

 

“Yeah, baby, please touch me.”

“No, that’s enough.”

“On honey, please touch me there.”

“STOP IT!”

“Oh yeah, touch me right there…. Hear me purr.”

“RAOWR! That’s enough! STOP TOUCHING ME!”

“Cuddle me!”

“NO! Get away!”

 

Gah! It’s just like being owned by a cat!

 

 

 

 

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